Category Archives: Sexism Against Dads

Two Things That A Dad Can Get Right

parents-choice-diapers-coupons1

Yesterday we decided to go to our local shopping centre with two goals in mind. The first goal was to get a haircut for our eldest son. The second was to get a new car seat for our youngest son who has outgrown the one he uses in my car which was the original baby to toddler seat we bought for the first born.

We arrived at the shops around midday and our first stop was at the hairdresser to see if they could fit our son in. Unfortunately they had a wait of 90 minutes and my wife told them that we’d put his name down but we’d go and see if we could get it done sooner. The place that she put his name down was at a women’s hairdressing salon where she has been before, and where I used to go before I started growing my hair long again. Both the boys have had their hair cut there before. As we turned away from that salon, I noticed a “new” men’s hairdresser. I say “new” because it is actually a relocation after the owners were kicked out of another centre.

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Should Men Be Banned From Working In Childcare?

child carer abused child

While I was having my lunch today I did what I do most days and I read the news online to see those stories they aren’t talking about on the radio (I mostly listen to talk-back radio when I’m driving around for work). I was on the new website for National Nine News when I noticed a rather shocking headline in the top news section.

South Australia Abuse Shock: Men could be banned as child carers after sexual assault case

And here’s the link I saw;

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Why This Morning Was A Leap Forward For Stay At Home Dads In This Country

house husbands

This morning was a pretty big deal for stay at home dads. If you were watching either or both of the top rating breakfast shows in Australia, Today (a.k.a The Today Show) on Channel 9 or Sunrise on Channel 7 you would have seen interviews with stay at home dads.

The first interview was with an American dad, Mike Cavender from Daddy Fishkins whose Apology to Stay-At-Home-Mums went viral last week on all of those regular professional reblogging and news aggregator websites around the world including here in Australia, hence his interview on Australian television.

The second interview was with Australia’s own Clint Greagen from Reservoir Dad who according to an article by the UK’s Daily Mail earlier this year is “Australia’s most successful ‘daddy blogger’.” Although Clint is from the “rival” city of Melbourne, he has been welcomed by us friendly Sydneysiders today as he launches his new book Reservior Dad (yes, his book title and blog title match), in a few book-stores in Sydney and appears on two national television shows, both which are filmed in studios in this fair city.

What’s the big deal you ask? Oh, stay with me…

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The Best Invention A Modern Active Father Needs – The Daddyband™

daddyband

Recently a father that I know was out with his child and a mother thought that something dodgy was going on so she called the police who came and questioned him after separating him from his son.

Luckily as one of the police officers walked off questioning him whilst the other stayed with his child, a mother from the child’s preschool wondered what was going on and went over the the cop with the child and asked why the father was being separated from his son. That resolved the issue, but the thing is, this embarrassment or shame should not be brought upon fathers who are out with their children.

I have written about it before, so have many of my fellow Dad Bloggers; often we are out at the park, at the swimming pool, at sporting events, and the movies and the evil eyes from over zealous mothers are staring straight at us, wondering why we are hanging around kids, waiting for us to pounce and kidnap the children (in broad daylight I might add), or worse still, abuse the kids in situ.

But I have a solution.

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Should Male Airline Passengers Be Subjected To This Sort of Treatment?

paedophiles on a plane

This post was pretty easy to write because for the most part, I didn’t have to write it. This morning I was tagged into a stranger’s status update’s comment by a mutual friend. I clicked on the link provided which brought me to another status update by this stranger which was an open letter to Tracy Spicer in response to her “I don’t want my kids sitting next to a man on a plane” article in the Sydney Morning Herald yesterday.

The stranger goes by the name of Craig Mack. I sent him a private message through Facebook asking if I could publish his open letter here and he expressed to me that I was more than welcome. If you haven’t already, please click on the link and read Tracy’s article first. Then I want you to read Craig’s response below. At the end of this post I will chime in with my own tale as I can relate to this story personally.

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Are Fathers The New Minority Group?

Warren_Farrell_leads_a_group_of_men_protesting,_1972

My most popular (well, my most read post) so far is the one entitled Dear Mums, Please Talk to Your Husbands, followed by What’s The Definition of Parenting? Has The Dictionary Has Got It Wrong? in third spot and the relatively new one 11 Sexist Onesies to Offend a New Dad (and 2 That Are Okay) in sixth place.

When I look at categories that I have chosen for all my posts, Active Fathers is on top of the list with Sexism Against Dads in third spot. I have recently discussed with my writer’s group that my humorous posts get very few hits whilst my activist posts seem to get lots.

And to top it off, the posts with the most comments are the same two that are in the most read as mentioned above. I know why this is the case;

Fathers are the new minority group. Let me explain.

Parents Magazine

Last year Parents Magazine (USA) released 12 issues and 25% of them had mothers on them, with none having fathers on them. Traditionally one might think that a Father’s Day special would show a happy father on the cover, but no, not a single issue showcased dads.

Parents 2013 01 January Parents 2013 02 February Parents 2013 03 March
Parents 2013 04 April Parents 2013 05 May Parents 2013 06 June
Parents 2013 07 July Parents 2013 08 August Parents 2013 09 September
Parents 2013 10 October Parents 2013 11 November Parents 2013 12 December

 

On the magazine’s Facebook page I saw this;

parents magazine facebook 12 signs you're a momNow it says parent in the preamble but mom in the title. And the post itself only has mothers’ comments. Of those “12 signs you’re a mom,” most of them if not all are signs that you could be a dad as much as you could be a mum so the title “12 signs you’re a parent” could easily have been used.

Mamamia Parents

The Australian women’s online magazine, media website, blog post aggregator, and gossip central Mamamia set up individual Facebook pages last year to promote different aspects of their website including the tab they call Parenting. Whilst you can hover your mouse over the Parenting section on the menu and see a Fatherhood sub-header, the display of mums only is rampant on this page.

Take a look at the header of the Facebook page. All writers for Mamamia (and Mamamia Parents) and all mothers. Surely there is a dad amongst their writers who could have been represented here. Even if the page is aimed solely at mothers (but then you have to question why the non-gender specific Parents gets used), the absence of fathers promotes the mindset that dads are not really that important a parent to include, and that their absence is okay.

Mamamia Parents mothers only

iVillage Australia

I have been published twice by iVillage Australia and am very active on their website and Facebook page discussions. Possibly I am the only dad who is a regular reader/commenter, and that might be because of the perceived exclusion of dads on websites and Facebook pages like this.

Take a look at their Facebook page’s header. Recognise anyone in that montage? You should. Some of the photos used for the iVillage Australia are the exact same as the ones used in the Mamamia Parents Facebook page’s header. In fact, most of the writers write for both publications seeing they are sister publications (or should that be non-gender specific sibling publications?)

ivillage australia mothers only

I have brought it to the attention of those who post the updates and memes (like these sexist ones) on both the Mamamia Parents page and the iVillage Australia page that if they are supposed to be for parents, then they need to stop with the (how good am I?) mum only memes and start sharing parenting ones that both mums and dads can enjoy.

One of the pages, I can’t remember which (but I will find it) tagged me in a response and apologised and said that they would be more mindful in the future, and more inclusive of fathers. A pro-dad meme was shared later that evening followed by another a day or two later, but it wasn’t long before they started resorting back to addressing mothers only.

Mamamia (main website/Facebook page)

When the news broke about that mother driving her kids into the ocean in Florida back on the 6th March 2014, Mamamia gave a brief discription of the incident as they normally do on their “news in under 5 minutes” post of the day.

pregnant mum mom florida beach

Fathers killing kids often get caught on these pages before all the details are known. Husbands killing wives are there too. Random men killing random women (that’s not intended in the pejorative way) are headlined too.

But as soon as more details are known, there are endless stories about how we need to end this senseless killing by men. And then we are all tarred with the same brush. All of us men. But not this Florida mum. The fact that a mother was trying to kill her kids is swept under the carpet. It is forgotten about.

Constantly talking about violence against women, especially talking about dads killing mums, without promoting all those balanced stories where modern dads are evolving to be just as active in their children’s lives as how mothers traditionally have been is the driving force behind keeping those dads who are not active in the online community of parenting away.

How can we change this? How can we get dads more active online in parenting communities? Well we could start showing them on the covers of parenting magazines. And not just the one issue every five years.

We can include dads in montages used for headers of parenting websites. We can include dads in discussions and conversations. Instead of parenting pages starting a discussion with “can any mums help with this dilemma?” they could ask if any parents can help, or leave out the salutation altogether and simply ask “can you help with this dilemma?”

Then dads will start to help out with solving problems. Dads will be part of the community of parents, and dads can rejoice in the fact that society is taking them seriously with their relationship and their interaction with their children. After all, Dads Are Parents Too.

To find out more about the featured image, click here…

11 Sexist Onesies to Offend a New Dad (and 2 That Are Okay)

dad one piece 11

With a 5 year old son and an almost 3 year who is every bit a toddler going on a threenager, my wife and I have left the onesie wearing stage well and truly behind (well, putting them on our kids that is). But that toddler of ours still likes to fight us when it’s time to get dressed and my wife is forever yelling out to me “can I get some help to dress the wriggly ferret?”

Maybe because I am stronger, maybe because I am more patient, or maybe it’s because I have a degree in Advanced Infantile Engineering and Mechanics, but I have always seemed to be able to dress the kids from birth up until their late toddler years without needing her help.

Warning; There's a comment that might be considered NSFW so you might want to read this in the privacy of your own home...

And I think that I deserve a medal or some sort of accolade for this as according to popular belief (which my be pronounced as “myth”), dads cannot dress babies. And this is what is being offered up as proof for this myth;

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The Reasons Why Child Abuse is an Issue For Men

false-allegations-of-child-abuse

Two of the biggest news stories in Australia at the moment are the former television star Robert Hughes being found guilty of sexually assaulting five girls, and the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse which commenced in January 2014 and as is expected to continue for the next few months.

In the case of the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse, the commission has been set up to examine the history of abuse in educational institutions, religious groups, sporting organisations, state institutions and youth organisations. Further to that, it aims to uncover the truth about the cover ups, the failures to report the crimes once discovered by the organisations’ leaders, and the inability or lack of response by the heads of these organisations to prevent further abuse from occurring. Read more

It Is Not Okay For Fathers, But For Mothers Killing Your Kids Is Justified

minivan mom florida

One of the first stories I saw on the news this morning was the mother who drove her minivan into the water at the beach in Florida with her kids on board. When I saw the footage I said to my wife that this was deliberate. There was no way this was an accident. Sadly, it turns out, I was right.

We all know that she was saved and so were here children so that is one positive from this news story. But what I discovered over the course of the day you will be shocked by.

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