Is your marriage too perfect? Is everything hunky-dory and you feel like you’re on your permanent honeymoon? Or maybe your marriage isn’t all that crash hot but you feel that you need something to tip you over the edge and give a good reason for separating?
Maybe the term “irreconcilable differences” is too cliché or too broad for you and you really want to put down a good enough reason for the end of your relationship. Well never fear, I have some great ideas for you to inspire you to be a little bit more creative than simply ticking the “no-fault divorce” box on your application.
So here are eight obscure reasons to file for divorce…
1. Fighting Over Who Gets To Hold The Television Remote
We rarely watch television together these days, but when we do my wife likes to be the one to hold the remote. As far as I’m concerned, once the program you are watching has started then no one needs to hold onto the remote. But my wife hates advertisements and also likes to watch up to three shows all at once.
I used to be a non-commercial watcher changing channels during the ad-breaks but I would constantly flick back to make sure that I don’t miss any of the program that I am watching. But when my wife changes the channels she can stay with the show that she’s changed to until that channel has a commercial break. At this point she might return to the original show we were watching or she might stumble upon another show that she’ll watch until the next ad-break.
2. Disagreeing On The Correct Way To Fold The Towels
Did you know that there are maybe half a dozen ways to fold towels? Some people I know roll their towels so you can include that in the mix to. My wife and I fold the towels using different method. End result is that the towels get folded.
For me, I like to fold the towel so that the short end folds over the long end so that you’ve made almost a square. Then I fold one side over the other side and then fold the bottom up to make another square and you’re done.
Even if you start the process the same way I do at the next step you can either folder left to right or top to bottom. Folding towels is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book (remember them?). Each time you fold it can be a new decision and a new adventure.
3. The On Going Debate Over The Correct Way To Hang Toilet Paper
This debate is played out almost every day on someone’s Facebook page. Whether it is the Facebook page of a media outlet, an online magazine, a business, a radio station or the various “Mummy Bloggers” I follow (hey, I should have added this to my post The 5 Things All Successful Mummy Bloggers and Mumpreneurs Do On Facebook), the sharing of the many and varied memes about the right and wrong way to hang the toilet paper is a popular thing to get people engaging with your page.
I’m not going to share those memes though; I prefer to only use a photo of the correct way to do it. No point displaying the wrong way and give people the impression it is the correct way to do it.
We’re lucky that we both hang it the same way in our house, but I bet that there are many households where this argument is being played out as you read this. And if that’s how it is in your house, that could be the thing to list as a reason why you want to divorce.
4. The Frustration Of Having To Repack The Dishwasher
It is my job to pack the dishwasher in our house. I’ve mentioned it on my blog’s Facebook page before that I hate it when my wife does it because when it comes to this task I am one of those control freaks who needs it packed a certain way.
It’s not a anal retentive as you might think it to be. I seriously am not going all OCD on my wife. Why? One word; Shadowing. Yes shadowing is what those in the know call it when you stack items on top of other items so that the rotating spray arm can’t get to an item. Don’t believe me? Well you need to check out this article about it.
There are many memes shared to do with this issue (the incorrect way to pack a dishwasher, not necessarily shadowing) including many about having to repack the dishwasher when a partner of less discerning care packs it wrong so I know I’m not alone. There are also many memes about how packing a dishwasher is akin to playing Tetris. Oh you bet your butt it is. That’s part of the reason why I actually love doing this household chore.
5. Technology In The Bedroom
This is one that my wife would select. I am guilty of bringing my phone to bed with me to read. My wife hates it because the light keeps her awake. She even has a rule that she’s written down and stuck up on our bedroom door; “NO PHONES IN THE BEDROOM.”
I still do it, but not that often. Well that is to say, if I decide to go to bed first and read (my phone that it), she expects that as soon as she comes to bed that I will switch it off even if I’m in the middle of reading something. It’s easy to do that with a book I suppose, but my main reading is my fellow Dad Bloggers’ posts and the occasional Mum Blogger too (we really need to start calling ourselves Parent Bloggers and join forces I reckon).
Now we had an amnesty a while back. We had a total ban altogether with the phones coming upstairs for the purpose of entering our bedroom. My phone stayed downstairs in my office on charge each night back then.
But it wasn’t me who was the first to cave in and break the rule. I’m not naming names, but it wasn’t me. You don’t forget something like that. Still, I am respectful of my wife’s wishes and if she does want to go to sleep and I want to continue reading I will simply do as I did last night and leave the warmth of our bed and continue reading downstairs.
6. Stopping the Microwave Before It Has Finished and Not Pressing Clear or Reset
I hate this. It drives be bat-shit-crazy when my wife does this. Whether it’s reheating something or heating up her wheat-pack she will enter in two minutes and after a minute and 53 seconds she’ll decide it’s enough, open the door, take the item out, close the door and walk away.
I have two issues with this;
- It was only seven seconds until it’s over. Can’t you wait seven seconds? Are you that impatient?
- What’s wrong with pressing the clear or reset button? Seriously.
7. Setting the Room Temperature/When to Use the Air-Conditioner
It has been proven that men and women regulate their heat differently to each other. Some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on (that sounds like some great lyrics for a song).
Having said that, there are plenty of times throughout winter that I want to have the air-con on higher than what my wife prefers, and sometimes she doesn’t even want it on at all. Just the other night she had it on and I felt like it was already nice and roasty-toasty from the day’s heat being kept in by the insulation of the house. I found myself “stripping down” to merely a T-shirt and shorts that night.
And throughout summer it will be the same. There will be days and nights where I’m going to think it’s stinking hot and will want the air on freezing cold and she’ll be all;
“Why is the air on? Do we really need it on?”
8. Hanging Out The Washing and Bringing It In
I am anal-retentive when it comes to how I do laundry. Some might say I suffer from an OCD with this. Actually, I know that an ex of mine did think just that. (Possibly why she’s an ex).
From my obsessive way I like to separate our dirty laundry (yes, I do note that this whole article is sharing our dirty laundry) to the way that all the pegs on that quadrant of the clothes-line have to match, I take my doing-of-laundry seriously.
I like the items separated like this;
- Black – Dark Grey
- Blue – Light Grey – Marl Grey
- Red – Pink – Purple – Orange
- Bone – Cream – Brown – Yellow – Green
- Woollens and Delicates – Light
- Woollens and Delicates – Dark
- Towels, Tea-towels, Washers and Wash Cloths
- Bedding (of like colours)
And once a load has been washed the way it is hung out is very important. I like to hang the socks next to their matching sock on the line so that when the load is brought in, the socks can be folded together there and then straight off the line. I like the socks to follow the buddy system. And not just on the line, but even before they make their way into the washing machine. No sock should be left behind. I wrote about The Sock Dilemma – The Pair of Socks Paradox back in August 2013. If you care about socks. you must read that article as well.
Now for those who are internet savvy and up on everything that’s gone viral on the interwebs you may think that I’ve just ripped off this idea from that BuzzFeedYellow video that was released about two weeks ago (which I have embedded below) but I have had this in my drafts for a few months but have been too busy arguing the stupid things with my wife.
In truth, suggesting these things are great fodder for divorce is ridiculous and spurious reasoning at best, and having been divorced once, it’s not really something that I would want to go through again, especially since we have kids and we owe it to them to work together and not to sweat the little things.
I’m not the first person to say this, but couples will never see eye-to-eye on everything, and you’d be a freakishly weird couple if you DID agree on everything (or one of you is giving in to the other way too much, and that’s not healthy).
What are some of the crazy arguments that you and your partner have? Is there something that your partner does or likes that drive YOU bat-shit-crazy?