5 Things You Should NEVER Give Out to Kids at Halloween

Remember this time last year when that woman from Fargo, North Dakota decided to give out a letter to kids she deemed to be obese or overweight instead of treats? That letter of hers went viral on media websites and blogs all around the world. I have embedded a copy of the letter below.

Now, as I’ve said in my previous Halloween inspired posts, the celebration is relatively new to Australia although it is getting to be a bigger and bigger event each year. So I thought I would offer some suggestions of things that you should NOT give out to kids who come trick or treating. And it’s not only my fellow Aussies, but also those who are in countries that have been participating for years because this woman proves that there are some people that really need a refresher course.

Now you might be thinking “well duh, of course you shouldn’t give out anything other than lollies/candy/sweeties or maybe packets of potato chips/crisps (man we need to introduce an international language for the Internet, switching between English AU, English UK and English US is not easy), but sometimes you might find yourself in the situation I have before and have under-catered for the amount of door knockers, so I’ve had to scrounge around for items to give.

1. Beer or Pre-Mixed Drinks

Look, I know you want to be the cool person on the street, but unless the “kids” that are knocking on your door are legally old enough to not be considered kids, leave the alcohol to your household drunk.

Besides, do you really want to share your stash with the neighbourhood kids if they’re not bringing anything over for a barbecue?

Picture Source: refer the bottom of the page

2. Condoms

Don’t laugh, my late, dear mother-in-law gave all her children condoms in their stockings from Santa once they reached a certain age, bless her soul. And I’m sure there’s at least one person out there that would think that this would be a great idea to pass onto the neighbourhood kids.

And seeing the good people of Durex thought it would be a good idea to release a pumpkin spice flavoured condom, I guess there might be some who think “well, it IS the season…”*

pumpkin spice condom

Photo source: every freaking news site back in September 2014

3. Cigarettes

Don’t. Just don’t. Ever.

halloween cigarette advertisement

Picture Source: refer the bottom of the page

4. Fruit

Okay, so you’ve run out of good treats and now you’re on to your own stash of fruit. Oh sure, it’s cute, but kids don’t want fruit.

Maybe you’re one of those families who is trying to provide a healthy alternative to the sugar filled sweet stuff, but kids don’t buy it even if you do draw a jack-o-lantern on a mandarin or orange.

You’re better off just telling the kids you don’t have anything left or turning the front porch light off so they won’t knock instead of slapping them in the face with this. And what’s worse, the kids have to fake joy at receiving a piece of fruit. Do you want to make them all little liars? Remember, it’s about now that Santa really knuckles down on that naughty and nice list…

5. Letters Telling The Kid That They’re Obese.

Again, don’t, just don’t. Okay, give them fruit…

Anything you would add to this list?

Picture Credits for Beer and Cigarettes: http://izismile.com/2009/10/28/most_creative_halloween_ads_54_pics.html (Seriously go and check out that website for more great Halloween inspired adverts)

*Yes, I’m fully aware that the Durex Pumpkin Spice condom was a hoax.



Categories: Celebrations and Festivals, Humour

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 replies

  1. I am the person whose house you want to go to at the end of the night. I gave a HUGE mixing bowl full of candy. To all the hateful ones out there that want to kill the fun of just one night, I want you to think about this: Its ONE night to be someone or something else for a night. And the kid you give lollie’s and sweets to may be putting the treats in bags to give to service members who are stuck overseas away from their kids, and some kids got their sweets and put them in a box and sent them to the above mentioned solider to make their day….

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