The Key To A Happy Marriage According To A Six Year Old Boy

My six year old son often surprises me. Sometime he says things that make him sound so very smart. Other times (excuse me as I channel Paul Reiser), not so much…

Take today for example. Today was his first day back at school. He started the first grade today. As per the new tradition of our modern day “if it doesn’t appear on Facebook, it never happened” culture, I took a few photos of him and uploaded them to Instagram and Facebook. He’s a handsome boy. Sure, I’m biased, but, (I need to channel Lisa Kudrow) shut up!

Anyway, a friend made a comment on one of the pictures of him dressed in his school uniform;

“I’ve decided (insert my son’s name) and (insert her daughter’s name) need to get married when they’re older.”

I have to say, as far as cute couples go, I really need to channel Matthew Perry;

“Could they be any cuter?”

Don’t worry folks. Nothing to stress at. There’s no arranged married between two six year old children who are barely old enough to walk down the garden path to collect the mail on their own happening here. Just two parents acknowledging each other’s cute kid.

As we sat down to eat dinner tonight I told my son that I have found a new wife for him. Again, this is not me trying to make him grow up faster than he should; ever since I can remember, since he has mingled with little girls at preschool and then kindergarten last year, talk of who he wants to marry has been high on his agenda. There was even the time before that when he and his cousin who is two months his junior decided that they were going to get married before she gave him the bad news that she wanted to marry her newborn baby sister. Kids are funny like that.

“Who is she Dad?”

“A friend’s daughter. You’ll like her. She likes playing Lego, watching Frozen, eating zucchinis and long walks on the beach…”

“Dad” he said with a half-laughing, half-annoyed tone “but I don’t like zucchinis. You can’t marry someone who doesn’t like everything that you like…”

And there it is. There’s that not so smart son of mine with his crazy talk. Now I don’t know which house he has been living in for the last six and a bit years, but my wife and I a far from being 100% synchronised on everything we love, and there’s plenty of disagreements, even over the most bullshit things as I wrote in my 8 Obscure Reasons To File For¬†Divorce post.

But I think that it’s nice at his age that he dreams that somewhere out there on this planet of seven billion people, he thinks that there is someone who is his perfect match. He believes that he will find his soul-mate. He believes that there will be someone for whom he will have a deep affinity with. He’s either delusional, or a daydream believer. Or Both.

I know as he grows older and wiser that he’ll learn that sometimes we have to settle for someone a little less than our ideal partner. Sure, she might be into the same bands as him. Sure she might be of the same political leanings as he. She might have the same religious ideology as him. But she might prefer zucchini to his favourite long green vegetable that is cucumber (seriously, that kid of mine could eat a cucumber each and every day if we gave him one). And she might not even like cucumbers at all.

In fact, there might be more things that they disagree on than simply which long green vegetable is best. And he might learn that for every two things that they agree on, there is a third thing that they may not ever agree on. But as Meatloaf sang;

“Two out of three ain’t bad…”

So have you found your soul-mate? Have you settled for someone less than perfect? Are you happy that your partner settled for someone less than perfect?

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