Peter Rabbit is a CGI-animated children’s television show starring the “lovable” Peter Rabbit, the main character in the books by Beatrix Potter. Each episode runs for eleven minutes. Each episode starts off with the Peter Rabbit Theme Song which goes for 40 seconds.
For those who haven’t heard the theme song, have a listen to this version that was uploaded to YouTube. More on that theme song later.
There are 1,440 minutes in each day. That is day as in a unit of time. You know, a 24 hour period, as opposed to daytime colloquially referred to as the day, or it’s polar opposite, night-time or simply, the night. On a good day, 420 of those minutes, or seven hours if you prefer, will be taken up by me being asleep leaving 1,020 minutes or 17 hours, again if you prefer, of me being awake.
In my day job I deal with atmospheric pressure which is pressure exerted by the weight of air in the atmosphere of our planet. For those not up to speed with measurements of atmospheric pressure, Earth’s standard pressure is 1,013.25 hectopascals or millibars depending on your preferred nomenclature of these metric pressure measurements. But to make things easy – and who doesn’t want to make things easy? – the air movement industries round it down so it’s much easier to deal with 1,000 millibars rather than 1,013.25.
So to make things easier for the first part of my rant about the Peter Rabbit television show I’m going to add twenty minutes to that time asleep (yeah, I wish) and round down my waking hours to exactly 1,000.
Now as I mentioned, the show goes for 11 minutes which includes the theme song. To put that into perspective, that is 1.1% of my day that Peter Rabbit is on my television set. Every. Freakin’. Day.
According to the television guide, the show starts somewhere between 6:10pm and 6:13pm, and although each episode is listed as having a running time of 11 minutes, the television guide on Australian television states the duration is 13 minutes which incorporates the commercials and teasers just before, and/or just after the show. But I’m going to run with 11 minutes being the time it takes before that show leaves my television set for the night. And it’s probably about 11 minutes too long.
Now, before I go on, I need you to know something. We have pet rabbits. And we’ve had a few over the years.
Yes, we do love our rabbits.
But Peter Rabbit does my head in. The theme song is not as bad as I say it is, but it gets to me because I hate the show so much. Really, if I was to redo my Top 10 Television Theme Songs for Young Kids post from October 2013, it might make the list, but as the show shits me, I might leave it off all the same.
So why do I hate it some much?
It’s the same thing happening in every single episode. Sure, I know you could say that about lots of shows, especially shows for young kids, but this show just seems more repetitive than most. I feel like every single episode is all about how Mr. Tod the fox who constantly trying to capture Peter, Benjamin and Lily to eat them.
Well before I became a vegan. Even before I became a vegetarian, this plot device has had me thinking, is this really what kids want to watch? I know, I know. We had the Road Runner escaping from Wile E. Coyote in every episode, and that coyote was trying to capture that bird for the same reason, but those Looney Tunes cartoons weren’t made for children, and although the whole premise was the same, the methods in which Wile E. tried to capture Road Runner were the things that made it different.
In Peter Rabbit however, the fox character seems to stumbled upon the young rabbits playing, and his method of capturing them is nothing more than running after them, and his desire to capture them comes from this chance meeting, rather than a well thought out plan.
But really, a show based on three anthropomorphic rabbits, with personalities, clothes, language skills, and the ability, with the latter point, to communicate in the same language with the fox, to whom they advise their displeasure at his want to capture them and eat them. It’s sick.
Show a kid a documentary about foxes killing their prey. That’s nature. But there’s something just not right about a show where the protagonists are constantly being considered as meals for the prime antagonist. Especially a show for kids about this topic.
Think about this. Here’s a fox, who can talk, and who wears clothes, and yet he doesn’t seem to have a job, and therefore his food source is either random plants he can sometimes be seen chewing on (not that there’s anything wrong will a 100% plant-based diet my friends), or some rabbits that, if David Attenborough is to be believed, is a staple in the diet of said foxes. And still, he wears his clothes, gained by either ill gotten means, or by his purchasing of them from some sort of store that makes clothes for small people, or anthropomorphic animals. And if he has money for that, why wouldn’t he have money for buying food?
And that’s where it gets even weirder. I mean, if he did have some sort of currency and the ability to buy food, would he be buying traditional fox food, like rabbits perhaps? See? See how awkward that makes it?
And it was the same for Wile E. Coyote. Here’s a coyote with the means to buy all these devices to capture a bird, but never does he think “maybe I should buy food instead of traps to trap just one bird.”
And what if the fox did catch the rabbits? Would that be so bad? It’s all part of the food chain, right? (Nope, in this context, it is just plain weird).
You know the coyote did catch the road runner once, and the awkwardness of that scenario wasn’t lost on the writers. Watch this clip.
And if you thought that was awkward, this one is even more awkward when again, he catches the bird, but this time, it’s no joke.
Language Warning: NSFW.
Now I know they’ll never do an episode where Peter Rabbit or one of his friends gets captured and eaten, but I do hate that this story teaches kids that foxes are bad, and that rabbits are good, when, if all things are considered, in this country at least, both wild rabbits and foxes are considered pests. Neither the rabbits or the foxes are the good guys, but neither of them are the bad guys either. Foxes are just going about their foxy ways, and rabbits will keep rabbiting on.
And Peter Rabbit, the show, will keep on shitting me to tears.
Which children’s show or shows do you not like?