Why Did God Give My Child Head Lice?

We have just had a few bouts of head lice go through our house over the last month or so. We believe that our youngest son brought it home with him from preschool and then very nicely transported the little critters up north a day later when we headed on our week away during the last school holidays. As a result, my wife sent me into the grocery store late on the night that we arrived at our holiday destination, and even though it was way past the kid’s bedtimes, a lice and nit treatment was in order before they finally got to go to sleep.

While doing some research about the head louse, I discovered this titbit of information; head lice, or to go all scientific on you, the pediculus humanus capitis spend their whole life on the human scalp and feeding exclusively on human blood. And once I had read that I was really confused about something.

You see, this is the thing that has me puzzled; humans are the only known hosts of this specific parasitic creature and yet, if we are to believe the Bible and creationism, God created all the animals before he made man. You might remember these passages from the Book of Genesis;

20 Then God said, “Let the waters teem with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth in the open expanse of the heavens.” 21 God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarmed after their kind, and every winged bird after its kind; and God saw that it was good. 22 God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth.” 23 There was evening and there was morning, a fifth day.

24 Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures after their kind: cattle and creeping things and beasts of the earth after their kind”; and it was so. 25 God made the beasts of the earth after their kind, and the cattle after their kind, and everything that creeps on the ground after its kind; and God saw that it was good.

So far so good. God had done well. One that fifth day He had created somewhere in the vicinity of 2 to 50 million species of animal (depending on what you read) with a current estimate of 8.7 million species living upon this planet with an estimated 10,000 species being discovered each year. If you think about it, He took the time to create species that have subsequently been wiped out and made extinct thanks to us unruly humans, and, possibly even as a result of His own volition.

He made every little creature that we’ve discovered, and those we haven’t. He made the dinosaurs, the unicorns, the dogs (not the ones that humans created through their own messing around with mixing the species) and of course, He made the head louse.

Male human head louse, Pediculus humanus capitis
Male human head louse, Pediculus humanus capitis

Some of the dinosaurs were happy to eat plants whilst others ate the ones that ate the plants. I guess that the (prehistoric) dogs got in there and ate the remains of those fallen dinosaurs; you know, the bits that were left over from the kills of the meat-eating dinosaurs. And I expect those (prehistoric) dogs probably caught and ate a few other dinosaurs, or maybe the (prehistoric) cats… who would have eaten the prehistoric mice and birds… Sorry, here I am rambling on about the diets of random animals that God created and have totally gone off track.

So yeah, God made the head louse which dined on the blood of the huma… wait a second. Aha, I see what I’ve subconsciously done. I’ve started listing obvious food sources for those animals that God created as a build up to discussing the food source of the head louse. But this is where I didn’t plan it very well because I was going to say “God made the head louse which dined on the blood of the humans” but we know that He hadn’t created the humans yet. So, what was the food source of the pediculus humanus capitis back on Day Five?

Sadly, this little creature was starving. A little known fact about the Bible (or Torah or Quran) is those 0.5 lines that fell between the lines we know today and were removed when they had to get rid of some of the less important things to make the Book shorter.

26.5 And God saw that the head louse was hungry for when He created this creature that creepeth upon the earth, He programmed it to only eateth of the blood of another creature, but one He had yet to create.”

Very old version of the Bible where I found the above missing line.
Very old version of the Bible where I found the above missing line.

And what was the creature that had this “magical” blood that could satisfy the dietary requirements of the pediculus humanus capitis? This might explain it;

26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 26.5 And God then notified the starving head lice to taketh up hometh in the hair of the man; and eateth the human’s blood.

Now I have to question that whole “let them have dominion over… every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.” If you’ve ever had head lice and their nits, you know that it is them that have dominion over us, and not the other way around. They give us two options; shave our heads completely so there is not hair for them to hide in, or take to the hair with a fine toothed comb and some sort of liquidy/creamy/moussey kind of thing.

I’m not impressed. Having seen the pain and annoyance caused by these creeping creatures that creepeth throughout my 4yo son’s hair I wonder, unless these creatures have some how evolved (pffft, yeah right, like that’s an actual thing) to only eat human blood, then I have to ask the question; why would God create this creature that serves no other purpose than to annoy us humans? It doesn’t make sense.

In light of Ken Ham’s wonderful Ark that he has built to teach us more about creationism (and it opens this July), I can no longer argue in favour of evolution and Darwin’s theory. But the good thing is, now I have someone to blame for yet another thing that has been thrust upon my often helpless kids.

Thanks God.

(PS. That was sarcasm mate)


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